I was told,
Yearning for home is nothing but mirage
Molds you into wayfarer
Millennium and yesterday intertwined
You barreled toward me with your arms wide open
Akin to a vulture
We collided
Coffee, Marlboro, and your hands brushed mine
Knotted our hair with every last atom of our strength
You whispered "te quiero" and unraveled
All the things that make you feel less human
//Akin to illumination//
Mega pascal pressure upon my shoulder
Held the gaze
While I drowned in my commual pool of sentimentality
In a veil of disguise,
You concluded that we should write letters
And gave me a bucket of blue
It all came to me as a revelation—
You were reticent.
On a random sunday morning
I had an epiphany—
My mother being too verbose
And how she used to
Wipe the antique with a dirty fiber cloth
While I made her listen to Carrie and Lowell
And it started raining in the room
//I carry my mother's spine//
She never seemed bothered
By her futile attempt to thread the beads
Scorching heat and sunshine through the curtains.
My heart left ringing from the ember of gaze
Embark on the baptism of fire
And face paroxysm of perplexity.
Our existence altered into these intangible vessel
So I carve my skull with a chisel
And set in a sapphire stone
Yet again,
I get reminded of Hedgehog's Dillema
It stirs the deepest recess of my soul.
Poignant eyes, same coffee and Marlboro.
Every fiber of my being that hankered, now ripped apart
Now I wake up with night clinging to my skin
Play some french new wave to make sense of it all
//C'est la vie//
Toothbrush on parquet floor
Barried in my bedroom
Try to write down the fever dreams
And the things left unsaid
With a fragment of my rib cage.
How fortunate to be
But a remnant of your mere existence
So I sugar the pill,
Chug the bottle of grief and scrutinize
Then later try to answer the graffiti I once passed by
"What do you harbor that rots?"
